in like a lion

it is april and i am endlessly tired. i sleep, all the time, and when i wake up, instead of feeling refreshed, i feel like i've climbed a mountain, or cycled around england, or been up for four days in a row. supposedly, behaving in this way is not unexpected, let alone unusual - combination of grief + not eating propely = exhaustion - but i feel so.. not-in-control of my body. it won't do what it's told. i'm incapable of sitting down for more than five minutes without falling asleep to wake up hours later wondering what the hell happened. i think it's cause when i sleep i have horrible dreams and don't actually get any rest. my brain refuses to shut up. stupid brain.